Restless

I’ve been contending with a certain amount of restlessness recently. I’m sleeping better, and my stress levels are pretty low. My general health is good although I’m suffering from allergy-induced eczema which is driving me a little crazy right now. I’ve been at a bit of a loss to explain why I’m so restless, but think I’ve figured it out now.
I’m finding it extremely difficult to muster enthusiasm for RPGs at the moment. It’s not burnout. I’m running a Tyranny of Dragons and Achtung! Cthulhu every Saturday, and I’ve also offered to run some one-off games at Black Lion and hopefully the Games Hub.
However, I just can’t seem to get “fired up” and “get going” on my games. It’s an odd feeling, but I reckon it’s probably down to the time of year. I usually take August off for GM duties, and to recharge my creative “batteries”. There are also conventions coming up that I should be getting enthused about, but…. nothing. I feel like I’m in the doldrums right now regarding creativity and RPGs in particular. It’s not helped by the fact that I’ve had to shelve plans for the Open University degree (at least for this year). It would cost me too much, especially after the bathroom renovations I’ve just had done.
As well as the games I’ve been running, I’ve been finding it hard to act as ORC’s organiser recently. I can’t seem to muster up any enthusiasm for the monthly pub meet, or the gentle “prodding” of people towards other games. I feel like I’m going around in circles a lot of the time.
It’s the same regarding both board games and tabletop games: I can’t seem to find the time. I’ve had to give some serious thought to my time and the demands upon it.
I think I need to find something that challenges me creatively in some way – it may not be RPG-related. I’m not talking about the usual stuff like the novel, Arunstoun, etc. I need something to really get my teeth into for some reason, an actual goal, or deadline to achieve. The question is, what?

Published by Bill Heron

Wannabe game designer and would-be author. I've been playing RPGs for over 25 years and have recently started creating my own RPG called Mandragora: Ashes of Freedom. I also run a number of RPGs: Cthulhutech, Call of Cthulhu, WFRP, and D&D. I'm active in the Edinburgh RPG community at http://orcedinburgh.co.uk and regularly play RPGs.

5 replies on “Restless”

  1. I’ve been feeling much the same recently that’s why I’ve been throwing myself into painting up my Dust stuff and spending more time playing board games. I’ve found that I’m writing more for RPG without the stress of running them

  2. I don’t have room to paint any minis right now, and sadly board games don’t really work for me. I can’t even muster any enthusiasm to write for the campaigns I’m currently running. I think I need one big project with a deadline and reason to get me back on track.

  3. Would you be interested in running a game by magazine? It’s an idea that I have for Suspense & Decision magazine. I’m not even sure if it’s feasible, and I don’t have a particular game in mind, but it is something that I want to bring about for the magazine’s readership going forward.

  4. Sorry, Bill, for the delay on responding. Basically, the turn results would appear in the magazine. Players would send you their turn orders, and all readers of the magazine would basically be able to follow along on the process of the game. Whether you would add new players as the game progresses would be up to you. The magazine publishes monthly, so you would have a month between turns, basically, to do whatever you need to do on your end to get the turn results drawn up and prepared for publishing.

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