I’ve been contending with a certain amount of restlessness recently. I’m sleeping better, and my stress levels are pretty low. My general health is good although I’m suffering from allergy-induced eczema which is driving me a little crazy right now. I’ve been at a bit of a loss to explain why I’m so restless, but think I’ve figured it out now.
I’m finding it extremely difficult to muster enthusiasm for RPGs at the moment. It’s not burnout. I’m running a Tyranny of Dragons and Achtung! Cthulhu every Saturday, and I’ve also offered to run some one-off games at Black Lion and hopefully the Games Hub.
However, I just can’t seem to get “fired up” and “get going” on my games. It’s an odd feeling, but I reckon it’s probably down to the time of year. I usually take August off for GM duties, and to recharge my creative “batteries”. There are also conventions coming up that I should be getting enthused about, but…. nothing. I feel like I’m in the doldrums right now regarding creativity and RPGs in particular. It’s not helped by the fact that I’ve had to shelve plans for the Open University degree (at least for this year). It would cost me too much, especially after the bathroom renovations I’ve just had done.
As well as the games I’ve been running, I’ve been finding it hard to act as ORC’s organiser recently. I can’t seem to muster up any enthusiasm for the monthly pub meet, or the gentle “prodding” of people towards other games. I feel like I’m going around in circles a lot of the time.
It’s the same regarding both board games and tabletop games: I can’t seem to find the time. I’ve had to give some serious thought to my time and the demands upon it.
I think I need to find something that challenges me creatively in some way – it may not be RPG-related. I’m not talking about the usual stuff like the novel, Arunstoun, etc. I need something to really get my teeth into for some reason, an actual goal, or deadline to achieve. The question is, what?